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#1 Grump threads on forums.

#2 Instructions on supermarket ready meals that only give times for 750w and 850w microwaves. These wattages do not exist on bog standard home cookers. They are all 700w or 800w.

#3 "Project fear" for the EU referendum. Beware, there will be a plague of frogs and death of the firstborn if we leave the EU followed by the parting of the English Channel so a million migrants can walk across to the promised land.
 

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Car insurance renewal. Mine was due recently and I was looking forward to changing insurers and getting a superhero meerkat toy. Turned out my renewal quote was cheaper than anything Aleksander could find so I had to stay with the same firm! Ah well, home insurance next month, try again.
 

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Gentlemen, there are many places on t'internet where you may express your fervently held views on the EU referendum - this is not meant to be one of them. Please do not let this thread degenerate into a remain/leave slanging match or it will be locked. Lighthearted comments are fine but keep it civil please.
 

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Incomprehensible train fares.

Went to my local station today:

"Off peak return to Kings Cross please."

"That will be £46."

"Have you got any cheaper tickets?"

"Yes, buy a return ticket to Dartford and it is only £36.20"

" I don't want to go to Dartord - it is the other side of London with three changes of train."

" You don't have to - just get off at Kings Cross and ignore the rest of the journey."

"Are you telling me that it is cheaper to buy a ticket to somewhere I am not going that is further away?"

"Exactly - welcome to the strange universe of train ticketing."

Is it me that's barmy or the rest of the world?
 

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The woman in the checkout queue to whom it comes as a complete surprise that she actually has to pay for the contents of her trolley.

I had the supreme example in Sainsburys today. She had a full trolley and spent more time on her phone than actually packing anything. If I was a checkout operator I would punch these ignorant, rude people.

Right, goods eventually packed and assistant calls out the price. This seems to come as a shock because she then realises that her handbag is underneath the shopping in the trolley. Having retrieved it she delves into the voluminous bag and attempts to ferret out her purse from underneath whatever else women keep in these things. Opens purse and hands assistant a thick wodge of discount/bonus points coupons. Most are out of date or not valid for her purchases but she eventually gets 50p off her bill.

Must be nearly there I thought, only credit card to go now. Wrong - tips out twenty pieces of plastic on the belt and can't find the right card. So, decides to pay cash and empties a great pile of coins to go with the notes and proceeds to try and count out correct amount. As her numeracy skills were a bit limited the checkout operator has to do it for her.

And finally, just as I thought the ordeal was over, she decides one of her 'bags for life' is split, asks for a free replacement and is most put out to be told that it is a Tesco bag so not eligible.

I finished my shopping, came home and went for a lie down in a darkened room.
 

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Ice in fizzy drinks. The Coke is already chilled in the dispenser thank you. If you think I am paying for half a cup of frozen water so you can make more profit you are sadly mistaken.

On the other hand, I do feel sorry for fast food workers who are under severe pressure to upsell. I often ask for less than I want so they can sell me the extra fries which I was going to buy anyway.
 

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The insanity of schools and hospitals paying business rates.

They get all their income from the government but then have to give some of it back to the same government via business rates. Therefore loads of people are wastefully employed shuffling money back and forth between government departments for no benefit whatsoever. Why bother to give it to them in the first place? Just reduce the grant and make government property exempt.

You really couldn't make it up!
 

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Government giving with one hand and taking back with another!

Two letters in the mail today:

State pension - going up by £12 per month.

Council tax - going up by £12 per month.

So the state has just moved money from one place to another and then back again!

Still - mustn't grumble!
 

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I have a 3 year old Nissan with built in GPS and thought it might be time to update it when it was serviced last week. How much for a new sd card with the latest maps please? That would be £149 sir. What? I could buy a new Garmin for less than that with free lifetime updates and the annual service on the car only costs £189! Does anybody actually fall for that rip-off?
grump.gif
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Our local Tesco car park was designed by a madman, it's like negotiating a maze! Why don't we use the American system of chevron parking so we can see to leave the space?

Don't get me started on larger spaces for parents with children. My money is as good as theirs so why can't I have a decent sized space as well? Are couples without children some sort of second class customer?

And another thing, why are cars attracted to each other in car parks? I go shopping early, the car park is nearly empty and there are more than 50 empty spaces around me. When I return there are still 50 empty spaces but I have a car parked on either side so I can't open the door!
 

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Firms that don't answer simple queries about their products. I have recently asked three of them for information. Magnetic Racing on the forum who have failed to answer 3 emails and a public post from me; an ebay seller, hippotoys, who replied to a dimension query saying that he couldn't be bothered to measure the item in question and a big model railway supplier who didn't even bother to answer at all.

It is not as if am complaining about their products, I merely want some basic information before spending a reasonable amount of money with them. What is the matter with these people? Don't they want my business?
 

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Firms that just don't get the hang of eCommerce and make it difficult to buy their products. I recently came across someone on Facebook who does really nice figures and other 1/32 scale stuff. No prices listed and no website! You have to wade through a never ending series of posts to find out what they make, message them to get prices then arrange to send payment. I really couldn't be bothered so they lost a potential customer.

What is so difficult about setting up a website with instant purchase arrangements? Plenty of other firms manage it.
 

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Bought my Daily Telegraph this morning to find the front and next four pages full of Royal baby stuff. Whizzed past that to get to proper news only to find an extra 8 page supplement lurking inside with more rubbish about it.

How do you manage to fill 13 pages of a major national newspaper with garbage about a one day old baby who has done nothing except be born and who will probably never become King?
 

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Today I would like to grump about ungrateful wildlife. I know they are not capable of being grateful but that is not the point.

First off - hedgehogs, the alleged gardener's friend. I put food and water out for them every night and they have a deluxe hedgehog house in the garden for their daytime nap. Do they repay me by eating the slugs? No they don't! In fact they share their food bowl with the damn slugs and leave them alone while chomping into their biscuits.

Mice - we have a few field mice in the garden who steal the hedgehogs' food. I don't mind that but why do they have to eat my vegetable seeds as well?

Birds - we feed them and they repay me by crapping all over the car!

Our two resident blackbirds also steal the hedgehog's food although they get a daily feast of meal-worms and sultanas. Then they go and slaughter the newts in our pond!
 

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Well, if you choose to live in the frozen north...................

Down here in the balmy south I would like to grump about car air-con. Last Thursday, on the hottest day of the year, I was returning from a few days in Great Yarmouth.

Norfolk people will know about the Acle straight - it was shut (yet again) because somebody had collided with a cow so we had a 30 mile detour and the air-con broke and blew out hot air. Deep joy! Why can't the bloody thing break in the winter when it doesn't matter?
 
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