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GOGS...Grumpy Old Gits Society..

334382 Views 8283 Replies 133 Participants Last post by  Gripping Pneus
after all the years of suffering being called a miserable old bar-steward by mrs zz , I am finally rejoicing that she has come round to my way of thinking. the source of this wonderment?... a newly found joint loathing of the foul phenomenon of otherwise seemingly intelligent individuals starting a sentence with the word "so"!!!! if you have been asked , "how do you propose to re-attach that button"? , or , "what method would you use to distribute seed in your garden" , fair enough but otherwise , nooooooooooo! other current hot favourites are "yoofs" with their kecks hanging out the top of their trousers and newly qualified drivers with a green p plate (clearly designating pillock) who refuse to commit to crossing a roundabout without having received a written invitation at least a fortnight in advance! what gets your hackles up?
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and another thing....wet , limp , clammy handshakes. whats that all about? I don't need every bone in my hand breaking but if you offer it at least have the decency to grasp my hand like a man , not like a bowl of cold custard!!!
^ and you won't get anywhere in life with a small signature.
and another thing....wet , limp , clammy handshakes. whats that all about? I don't need every bone in my hand breaking but if you offer it at least have the decency to grasp my hand like a man , not like a bowl of cold custard!!!
It seems the norm out here, we prefer a quick peck on the cheek!

The handshake after all is just a quick way of testing the other guy's sword hand to see if you can beat him. I have an English friend here who considers it a competition. He is one of those men who considers himself to be a little bit larger than normal. I would agree if a little bit larger than normal didn't mean 6'5", 25 stone with a stomach that means he hasn't seen his feet for a very long time. Probably nothing lower than five feet above the ground. He does have muscle though and tries to prove it every time we shake hands.

I'm a stick insect. 6'3" and around 11 stone. But I do have strong hands so I delight in denying him the pleasure of crushing all the bones in my hand into one amorphous lump!

Kids!
I don't like feeble handshakes, either. :(

My grump of the day is my step-daughter's use of "it just came off in my hand!" (or similar phrases) with monotonous regularity. Her latest one was yesterday when she came to me with the key of Wor Lass's car in two pieces. I had driven the car myself not a couple of hours previously and there was nothing wrong with the key. Once I had forced the blade back into the fob (it is a push fit), I could not get it out again. So it didn't "just fall out", she was doing something with it she shouldn't have been.
our lad summed it up well when he was about 5...."you are really good at mending stuff dad" , "good job" was my reply!! he has got better these days though.
our lad summed it up well when he was about 5....
How old is he now?? My step-d is 30! Yes, she is still living with us (3rd time she's been back since she left uni.), but that's a whole different grump activated by her total lack of financial sense. As soon as she gets paid, she's spending. It's an addiction and, try as we might, we can't clean her up.
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I think we'll never be rid of her.
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we are lumbered for a day or two yet....he's only 12!
and another thing....wet , limp , clammy handshakes. whats that all about? I don't need every bone in my hand breaking but if you offer it at least have the decency to grasp my hand like a man , not like a bowl of cold custard!!!
It seems the norm out here, we prefer a quick peck on the cheek!

The handshake after all is just a quick way of testing the other guy's sword hand to see if you can beat him. I have an English friend here who considers it a competition. He is one of those men who considers himself to be a little bit larger than normal. I would agree if a little bit larger than normal didn't mean 6'5", 25 stone with a stomach that means he hasn't seen his feet for a very long time. Probably nothing lower than five feet above the ground. He does have muscle though and tries to prove it every time we shake hands.

I'm a stick insect. 6'3" and around 11 stone. But I do have strong hands so I delight in denying him the pleasure of crushing all the bones in my hand into one amorphous lump!

Kids!
Both annoy me. Limp handshakes are not worth bothering with, and bone crushers are just pathetic macho crap.
Tamiya tricks: I recently visited a hobby shop that was running a "going out of business" sale (all too common these days) and stocked up on some jars of Tamiya acrylics in the colors I use for driver painting and details. When I added them to my paint rack, a multi-step wood construction with jar-sized recesses, I was astonished to note that while they looked just like my older ones, they were about half-sized!

My complaint: Mfrs who put through stealth price increases by reducing content.

EM
all I'm going to say is.... WAGON WHEELS!!!!
all I'm going to say is.... WAGON WHEELS!!!!
Preeeeeeeeeecisely.
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OK, for today I offer you............. Women of "a certain age" whose friends are regularly "with child".

Step-d has just come back from visiting one of her friends who dropped her sprog late last week. Step-d's first words when she came into the house were "I WANT ONE!". Stupid girl! Firstly, she has only ever had one "steady boyfriend", who only lasted a few months. Secondly, she won't get another boyfriend until she drops about 10 stone, and gets a whole new outlook on life..........

But thirdly, and most importantly, a baby is not a fashion accessory!
not that you are at all on a downer on her!!
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tell her to go stay with recently sprogged out friend and see how long she puts up with the sh.. and screaming for!

*just call me dear deirdre!
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Actually, in this instance the friend is just as much to blame. As I understand it she went out and got herself pregnant. Certainly the father isn't around, and hasn't been since quite early-on in the confinement. In this instance baby = fashion accessory, IMO. We've got a lad (believe it or not!) at work who did something similar a couple of years ago. All his friends were married and having bairns. So he met an agreeable lass (who already had one 6-y-o with an absent father) and now they have one.

.......And, yes, I don't particularly get-on with step-d. In fact, my dislike of her almost put me off getting involved with her mother. The only thing that I thought was a positive was her growing-up and leaving home. That was 16 years ago. If only...........
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The only thing that I thought was a positive was her growing-up and leaving home. That was 16 years ago. If only...........
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unlucky!
Answerphones/voicemails.......

You're a business, I want to make an appointment. I 'phone and get "Sorry, we're not available right now. Please leave a message, with your number, and we'll call you back.". Now, I don't like talking to answering machines but just this once I'll make an exception.

(24hrs later) Have you bothered checking your messages? You haven't got back to me (I know this because I have checked the last number who called me, it was my mother-in-law 2 days ago). Does this mean you don't have an appointment available for the time I requested? Can you not offer me an alternative? Do you not want my business? Answer your bloody 'phone, I want to talk to you!! If you'd answer your 'phone - and my enquiry - I would at least be able to plan ahead.

In fact....... Stuff you! Stuff your business! I hope you go bankrupt! I'll try elsewhere.
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"We apologise for the delay. Please hold. Your call is important to us."

Why don't you employ someone to answer the bloody phone then?
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I hate business' where you have to trawl through their website like colombo on speed to find a contact number let alone manage to speak to whoever is looking after the company braincell that day!

case in point if I need to contact vodafone I go straight to the ceo's office via email as its pretty much impossible by phone , I don't even bother with the mumbai based minions (they really aren't called bob or anne etc!) they don't know the difference between a mobile phone and their armpit!!!!
.......And, yes, I don't particularly get-on with step-d. In fact, my dislike of her almost put me off getting involved with her mother. The only thing that I thought was a positive was her growing-up and leaving home. That was 16 years ago. If only...........
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Aye, thrice unlucky TBH. You'd have thought that after the first failed marriage I'd have learned my lesson. But no, the second mistake was entirely of my own making. By the time I started thinking with my head rather than my todger it was too late for anything other than the inevitable divorce. Up to that point it really was "sod everything else, the nooky's brilliant!". Eight years wasted............. At least now I'm at the age when nooky is at the bottom of the priority list (it's a very rare occurrence and I couldn't care less), and if I'm honest step-d is my only big issue with this marriage.
have you tried slipping property ads under her schnoz....or is that too subtle?
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