SlotForum banner

GOGS...Grumpy Old Gits Society..

334382 Views 8283 Replies 133 Participants Last post by  Gripping Pneus
after all the years of suffering being called a miserable old bar-steward by mrs zz , I am finally rejoicing that she has come round to my way of thinking. the source of this wonderment?... a newly found joint loathing of the foul phenomenon of otherwise seemingly intelligent individuals starting a sentence with the word "so"!!!! if you have been asked , "how do you propose to re-attach that button"? , or , "what method would you use to distribute seed in your garden" , fair enough but otherwise , nooooooooooo! other current hot favourites are "yoofs" with their kecks hanging out the top of their trousers and newly qualified drivers with a green p plate (clearly designating pillock) who refuse to commit to crossing a roundabout without having received a written invitation at least a fortnight in advance! what gets your hackles up?
  • Like
Reactions: 1
521 - 540 of 8284 Posts
New Topic: People who don't complete the passing (overtaking) process as quickly as possible...

It is a particular problem here in Germany where you could be going 200 kmh (about 124 mph) in the left (outside) lane... so podunk dorkhead decides the car in the right (inside) lane is going to slow and pulls out going maybe 2-3 kmh (1-2 mph) faster....


I learned that passing should be completed as quickly as possible. Many police officers have told me going 10 mph (16 kmh) over the speed limit to pass is OK as you are disrupting the flow of traffic as long as you get back in the right-hand (inside) lane as quickly as possible and slow down to the maximum allowed speed.
Interesting never heard a Police officer condone speeding even for a brief period, obviously different in Germany than in the UK. I understand that Autobahns have have a variety of speed limits.

Perhaps the slower car was using cruise control and wanted to overtake without upsetting his settings. I use it all the time on Motorways to prevent speeding.

Modern drivers don't seem to PASS on multi-lane roads they as you say just dawdle by, usually I believe, with cruise control set to 1-5kph faster than the traffic is moving. They don't pull out accelerate by and slow back down.

Why? Who knows. Here is OK as we can pass on either side so...

Alan, one can put ones foot down to go by without cancelling the control settings?
The police officer was an American ;-) course being the Midwest you can see for miles so there is no way a cop can "surprise" you in most places.

Yes there are speed limits on most of the Autobahn... in fact, when the limit is 120 kmh traffic flows better than unlimited because trucks (lorries) are only allowed to go 100 kmh people passing tend to drive only 105-110... when the limit is 120 they go 120....

when I become prime minister i'm going to abolish all speed limits outside built up areas....they are the work of satan!
I haven't commented on the overtaking/driving subject ^^^ above, because if I do there's a distinct possibility I'll never stop!

So, instead, I give you............. Stock-taking.

I work in warehousing, and we stock something like 30,000 lines. The company insist on stock-taking twice a year. This consists of 4-5 weeks "pre-checking" during normal working hours, then all staff (currently 25) doing the actual count from 13hr00 on a Friday carrying-on until such time as the powers-that-be are happy with the result.

Our computerised stock control system (like most, if not all) has the facility to enable "perpetual stock-taking" whereby you check computer-generated random stock lines on a daily basis until over the course of a given period (usually a year) you have checked the entire stock. Doing it this way takes just a few minutes a day. Most other companies in similar business in our area use this system.

Will our company entertain perpetual stock-taking?? Will they hell.
They would rather disrupt normal routines for over a month, twice a year. ...........And then they have the nerve to complain about the overtime bill!
See less See more
overtime??? you are lucky we used to get a fish and chip supper!! at that company we would have several stocktakes a year spread across the stock range but also ran a weekly stock check that if operated correctly would have been very accurate but we would end up checking the same few lines every 3-4 weeks so it was doomed to failure!! numpties.
It's only paid at single-time, and the actual stock-check days are the only occasions we actually get overtime. Any other time, overtime is actively discouraged. For me it usually amounts to no more than 3 hours so from a personal POV it's not worth it. Attendance on stock-check days is compulsory, the only exception is for medical procedures or under cover of pre-existing sick note. A couple of years ago one of the lads threw a sicky on stock-check day and got a warning letter when he returned on Monday.

All this is from the company with the highest turnover and profit in the UK within the market sector. In the trade press, when they have annual surveys and publish top 20s in various catagories our company never even appears on the "Renumeration and benefits" one. They're usually near the top of the "Staff turnover" top 20 as well. The only reason I put-up with it is because I'm not far off retiring and unlikely to be employed by another company now.
See less See more
  • Like
Reactions: 1
Well said, gordonzz, if we go down his road of forensically analysing historical songs, where will it end? "Goosy,Goosy Gander" is about murdering and old man and then dumping this body in the local duck pond because he "..would say his prayers.."
Both Bohemian Rhapsody and Tom Jones' Delilah are about 'fessing-up to a murder..Agggghhhh ban them !!!!

The persecuted slaves composed a brilliant song in order to brighten their spirits; about 200 years later the England Rugby team adopted it as an anthem.
Is any of that such a bad thing? I think not.
One of the many reasons that Donald Trump won the election is the fact that there are a lot of people fed up unto death with all the ramifications of "political correctness" and the attendant distortion of language and behavior.
and it works too....61-21 , that'll do nicely boys!!!!
I think I may have touched on the subject before but.....ROADS. why is it that some (read most) of our local b roads are absolutely #*£%ed with pot holes big enough to swallow up jeremy corbyns wrinkly jacket wardrobe with room to spare and are unlikely to see any repairs this side of our lads retirement yet other perfectly serviceable roads get resurfaced , in some instances twice in less than 12 months???? the best one though was the announcement that "they" are going to spend £22million on the m5......on signage to warm of queues and hold ups! now call me thick...most do...but wouldn't that £22mil be better spent on actually improving the road to reduce the queues and hold ups in the first place? I know that figure is small change when it comes to road building but you could paint some signs on the back of some orange crates and have £21.999.998.00p change!!!! (paint is quite expensive!)
See less See more
Ah. You guys out west always whinging? Last time I was there the M40 in the civilized bit was fine.

Hold ups on the M5? Has a latter-day Galloping Dick Ferguson emerged to operate in your part of the world?
we certainly have the modern day equivalent ..... DVLA!!!
I wonder who is the chief grump on this thread? The grumpiest of the the grumpy old gits? Top of the grumps?

Grumpy McGrumpface.




  1. bad-tempered and sulky.


    bad-tempered, ill-tempered, short-tempered, crotchety, crabby, crabbed, tetchy, testy,waspish, prickly, peppery, touchy, irritable, irascible, crusty, cantankerous,curmudgeonly, bearish, surly, churlish, ill-natured, ill-humoured, peevish, cross, as cross as two sticks, fractious, disagreeable, pettish; More

Who is the most crabby, tetchy, prickly, touchy, irritable, crusty, surly, churlish, peevish, and disagreeable?

It's going to be a fiercely fought after title, and whoever wins the exalted accolade of King Grump, there will be lots of grumpiness from the losers, but even more from the winner.
See less See more
you mean "his holy on-highness the grand grump-ah of miseabledom"?? could be fiercely contested!
I reckon the winner should have to be addressed as "Your most miserable Majesty, Sergeant Surly, Corporal Crusty, and grandest Guardsman of all things Grumpy."

I'm confidently expecting an influx of manifestos to be published for what will no doubt be a much sought after title.

I'm off to write my own pitch right now, which will include getting annoyed at leaves on the ground which aren't crunchy enough, and have gone all soggy, my own dog, who is lovely, but also really annoying, and of course those bits of gravel that get stuck in the treads of your boot, and then scratch your tiled floor.

I'll also include my wife's use of the word "Aaaayy?" when she means "I beg your pardon?", and "Mind!!" when she means "would you please move out of my way".

Most importantly I'll include Classic FM. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH. The more times they tell me how relaxing it is, the more I get wound up.

Oh, and then there's politics, maybe best not to go there.

Taps that drip, and the fact that you can't repair them anymore, you just have to replace them.

Old silicon sealant, it's a nightmare to remove.

My dog. Did I mention my dog? I think I did. I love him to bits, but he's a rescue dog and has quite a few problems.

Drizzle. That's quite annoying.

Tea pots. When you turn them upside down to try to get the tea bags out, but they stay stuck on the rim.

Tea bags. When your wife manages to get the old tea bags out of the tea pot, but just leaves them in the sink.

Well that's a decent start to my manifesto. Vote JB
See less See more
Manifestos........... Now there's yet another thing that makes me grumpy. I've never been able to take them seriously since The Longest Suicide Note In History, back in '83.

I'm not writing a manifesto for election to Prime Grumpister. You're either with me, or you're not. I think it should be patently obvious by now that just about everything in Christendom (and beyond.....) contributes to my perpetual high levels of grumptiousness.
See less See more
I'd like to have a Grump.

Jason B. Why does everything have to be a competition with a winner. Why does a thread have to become a populist media circus? The whole point of being a Grump is that we don't belive in and indulge in such populist nonsense.

We were all quite happy Grumping away but now new grumps have to feel there input is being vetted for quality. This will turn a quite nice and amusing thread into one filled with bollocks as wannabe Grumps fabricate elaborate stories to impress.

Rather than being a contest why not simply leave it as is and remove your post.

I note Jason B that you post on here suggesting some kind of points system or the like but yet you do not self-identify as a being a Grump. I also notice that the Grump icon has gone missing from us self confessed Grumps ID. panels. Perhaps you could use your influence and get that re-instated. What is the point being a Grump if we can't be identified as one.
See less See more
521 - 540 of 8284 Posts