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Earlier today, Mrs Grumpy received news of the kids, who live in the Far East. They have a large monitor lizard in the garden that has become far too comfortable and, due to extraordinarily wet weather, an outbreak of scorpions everywhere else.

I really oughtn't to complain about the inaccessible stray cat between two boxes in my slot room.
 

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For Segata

Having my ears syringed is one of the most painful things I've ever had done.
I can hear my wife perfectly now.
 

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Having slumped into my customary post-trough state of advanced slumber and acute indolence, I failed to raise sufficient energy to switch off the wireless. In consequence, I had to endure yet another excruciating rendition of Schubert's irritating piece known as 'The Trout'.

And what's in this evening's trough? Yep, a bl**dy great trout. Little wonder I've always disliked Schubert. And trout for that matter.
Food Fluid Seafood Fish Liquid
 

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You poor poor Soul Mike, just ask her to hang out near the Larengitis patients for a bit.

I awoke earlier to what can only be a scene reminisent of Bagdad or Syria outside my bedroom door and the drugs must've put me in one hell of a deep sleep not to hear it.
Apparently Mother had taken it apon herself to retrieve her Dolls house (one of those Collecters grade ones although one does wonder if she has gone senile) from the Loft and decided to sit on the frame work, apparently stuff then slid forward and down which is why I no longer have a Landing Ceiling as a Ceiling but rather more strewn across the Landing to injure my dead foot nicely.
Rather more pressing than doing anything about the damage apparently is stock taking miniture furniture across the living room full size furniture, the Old Man is going to have a sh*t fit when he gets home later.
 

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A joyous return from Abergavenny 'safternoon. At 45mph in a 50mph zone, I was overtaken by a Volvo doing 80/85mph. Volvo turned left on to narrow country lane and I followed suit.

Two minutes later, a traffic jam caused by roadworks. Tarmac' machine causes 12-min delay. On we go in a queue headed by Mrs Doom-Tombstone in her old VW Golf at a lightning 19mph.

Another dalay of 6mins waiting for a sand and gravel lorry doing a complex reversing manoeuvre into a farmyard. On we go again, Mrs Doom-Tombstone leading, but dizzy at 19mph, she cuts her speed to 14mph.

Steam emanating from Volvo cabin. That journey from Clodock to Longtown - about a mile - took a very long time. Wonder what the Volvo driver gained other than a disagreeable temper. Twit!
 

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Sadly as we found when we booked one for the Ancient one, they bring them back too.

I've about reached the absolute end of my teather with technology of late, the Phone spends half its life on charge and the b**tard space bar fell off the main Laptop again and those dainty little clip spring things will not go back into place for love nor money, you cant even say bugger it and replace it as no one sells a replacement for this model only a whole Keyboard for £45 thats used so no guarentee if it will be any better.
I am currently typing using the teeny little membrane which is easy said than done, I do have a decent keyboard if I've got to properly type but it means having to set up a desk.
 

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Can't wait to see Mrs Grumpy's face next month when she learns that the kids have bought her a surprise 🎈 balloon flight.

She hates flying...
This is not funny. I did the same for my wife in September after she had thoroughly enjoyed a balloon festival we had visited pre-Covid. She then told me she can't stand heights, what the H was I thinking, stupid B etc etc. That was the first I knew of this phobia as she has never complained before on commercial flights or even the flying lesson she had. Her father started a flying club and she often went up with him as a child. It didn't save me from a "Force 10" though. Maybe the security of sitting inside a thin walled aluminium and perspex box clouds thing a little.

I think that a lot of the profit in commercial balloon flying comes from no-shows.
 

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True, Gripping. You're right, of course, but I can't think of many activities that don't carry a degree of risk. Like so many folk I've done daft things in cars, motorcycles, bicycles, tractors and the rest, but the most pain I've experienced in recent years has been the result of getting out of bed.

Foot on floor, achilles tendon snapped again. And then there was the time showering when a prolonged fit of giggling resulted in a burst blood vessel in my eye.

And, and, and.
 

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I'm not too sure who's responsible for this but I'd imagine it's Micro5hit. What it is, is this little notification button has shown up on the pc screen, although I've done my best to remove all their 5hit from the screen so I can just have a pleasant calming photo of Lake Pukaki, that I took while on holiday, instead of all their infuriating bulls hit that they think I want to see. Darned if I can't remove it but unfortunately I don't know a heck of a lot about pcs and don't want to but it's surely rattled my cage today. I clicked on it once already and there was some ballyhoo about the honourable priminster Aderne somebody who looks a bit like Mr Edd the talking horse and who makes less sense than he did. Can't imagine who voted for her but I didn't. Anyway, I'm going slot racing now to calm down a bit with some good blokes.
 
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