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GOGS...Grumpy Old Gits Society..

414K views 9K replies 138 participants last post by  Wobble 
#1 ·
after all the years of suffering being called a miserable old bar-steward by mrs zz , I am finally rejoicing that she has come round to my way of thinking. the source of this wonderment?... a newly found joint loathing of the foul phenomenon of otherwise seemingly intelligent individuals starting a sentence with the word "so"!!!! if you have been asked , "how do you propose to re-attach that button"? , or , "what method would you use to distribute seed in your garden" , fair enough but otherwise , nooooooooooo! other current hot favourites are "yoofs" with their kecks hanging out the top of their trousers and newly qualified drivers with a green p plate (clearly designating pillock) who refuse to commit to crossing a roundabout without having received a written invitation at least a fortnight in advance! what gets your hackles up?
 
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#1,702 ·
While out on my daily bicycle ride today in cold fog, I was minded of my wedding anniversary last September.

I asked my wife if she'd like to do anything special. She replied most wearily that she wanted to go somewhere she'd never been previously.

Knowing that Pescara, Avus, Nurburgring, Albi, Brno and Rouen were out of the question, I offered to show her the kitchen...

Bandages should be off by Christmas...
 
#1,705 ·
Grumpies are too quiet recently. Nothing to gripe about?

Perhaps we should start the Reformed Old Gits Society. Not for me, though, yet.

A new accent emerged in the UK a few years ago, and it's prevalent among young folk. It irritates the carp out of me.

They say gidd morning, pidding instead of pudding, Seezan instead of Susan, and a good-looking bloke is now a gidd licking blake.

Naturally, their grinning countenances punctuate this BS with the word, like, as part of their overall strategy of inefficient communication technique.

Spare us, please.
 
#1,707 ·
Grumpies are too quiet recently. Nothing to gripe about?

Perhaps we should start the Reformed Old Gits Society. Not for me, though, yet.

A new accent emerged in the UK a few years ago, and it's prevalent among young folk. It irritates the carp out of me.

They say gidd morning, pidding instead of pudding, Seezan instead of Susan, and a good-looking bloke is now a gidd licking blake.

Naturally, their grinning countenances punctuate this BS with the word, like, as part of their overall strategy of inefficient communication technique.

Spare us, please.
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When I read that out to Ronnie, she asked my why I was putting on a South African accent!! Maybe that's an influence like?

Anyway, the grumps are alive and well around here ta very much.

We have a large house out here in France with four acres of land. Like many, we are thinking about going back to the UK. Something about our final years back where we came from appeals although rather further north than our roots in the south.

We have someone interested in buying it but suddenly, I am somewhat reluctant to let him have it. I keep looking at the space we have (although one reason for selling is that a lot of the space is wasted with just the two of us) and then look at the houses we could afford in the UK - damned exchange rate is a problem, we were hoping that sterling would collapse not recover, and the expression 'generously proportioned' makes us laugh. Little boxes made of ticky tacky and they all look just the same! Our bathroom is bigger than the lounge in most of them. Even on the islands where the prices are fine, the room sizes make me cringe and the feeling of being enclosed like that makes me have second, third and fourth thoughts.

Rats
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#1,709 ·
A man who has tired of France, like, (sic) has clearly, like, (sic) not been to Britain recently, like (sic).
We are not tired of it, far from it. We have just received our 'carte de sejour' that give us full residents rights for the next ten years, the health service makes the NHS look exactly what it is - I've had two major ops with about two weeks waiting and the price of drugs is not a rip off!! - in the villages, there is still the sense of community that the UK had at one time etc., etc.

However, for me, one of the most beautiful sights in the world is the view over the Scottish Islands into the sea. I spent most of my holidays in my thirties up there. When I snuff it, I would like to be sitting on a bench looking at that view. Who said I wasn't a romantic? (Ronnie actually!)

I'm going on 73 and if a major move is to be made, it's probably a good idea to make it sooner rather than later.
 
#1,710 ·
Cornwall for me Gus spent many a happy holiday there especially out of season staying at our friends place just above Praa Sands and my memories are of walking along the coast top in a high wind seeing the sea below us crashing onto the rocks the salt air stinging your face and at the end of the walk the lights of The Victoria Inn at Perranuthnoe glinting and getting bigger as you approached it .

Entering the bar to a smokey atmosphere a raging log fire , hearing the chat going on all round you and the landlord saying and what will yours be me luver, two light and bitter was always my reply and 2 of them pork scratchins, that was nigh on 30 years , now at the age of 75 i doubt if i will ever see it again , and i suppose like everything else in life it will have changed, i doubt like most things now not for the better.
 
#1,712 ·
I suppose like everything else in life it will have changed, I doubt like most things now not for the better.
That's just a function of age I guess. Every generation thinks the next one has gorn downhill and life ain't what it was. It certainly seems that way to me but I don't particularly trust my judgement to be impartial.

I wrote a pome about a function of age!! I suspect the expression 'poetry' may well be in the ear of the listener or reader. This should cause a few grumps, I was a bit younger at the time and had just finished my period of bankruptcy
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A FUNCTION OF AGE - Poetry it ain't!

You're finished at fifty, just accept the truth
that you can't compete with the power of youth.
Don't believe what you're told, that experience counts,
to prove you can cope when the pressure mounts,
you have to have studied and we need to see
that you carry the passport - a good degree.

We don't want you to prove you can still be a thinker,
we want you in our stream, hook line and sinker.
You're fixed in your ways and your ways are out,
what the hell do you think this life is about?
Its cash that is king, sod the old, sod the poor,
don't bring their troubles to our front door.

So you ran it yourself, that was then, this is now.
You tried and you lost, we're not interested how
you arrived at this stage,
its probably just a function of age.

You've lost the lot, well we all make mistakes
but it does go to show, you've not got what it takes.
You can't expect that, at your time of life,
when you've lost your home your car and your wife,
you'll able to do what you once did so well,
you have to accept you've got nothing to sell.

You're bankrupt of cash, bereft of ideas.
I don't understand your unnatural fears
of never again earning a living wage,
its probably just a function of age.

Lets face it old man, you've got nothing to give,
we need someone who's got a long time to live,
someone who's happy to work hard and long,
someone who'll sing the company song,
someone who won't put too much of a strain
on the pension fund, so we can be sure that we gain
the maximum profit from the time they are here,
we don't want them costing the company dear.

We need to be sure time's for us, not for them.
We don't want them for life, just a short while, pro-tem,
to extract what we need while we're telling them how
when they're older and wiser then they'll have the power to make the decisions they think they can make
and of course we must tell them, for their own sake
that at the end of the day, when all's said and done,
they don't have the experience to know how to run
a company that uses the young and the strong
to help put one over the rest of the throng.

Finished at fifty?, perhaps its the truth
that those of us over the first flush of youth,
just need the chance to be able to say
that we're here, that we're needed and that is the way
to escape from the trap, get away from this cage
but maybe that's just a function of age.
 
#1,715 ·
Another old man - well past his prime but it is still my "go to" when I look back and wonder if it made any difference:

I can't believe I have made any difference apart from upsetting a few people. As, fortunately for the gene pool, I have never - knowingly - fathered any further human beings, I have, hopefully, left no further stain on the planet.

As far as Sinatra is concerned, I have only managed to listen to one of his songs more than once and that is 'love's been good to me'
 
#1,716 ·
I have never - knowingly - fathered any further human beings
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I've sometimes used a very similar phrase, when asked about offspring. I once blurted it out when a "date" asked if I have children. I replied ".....None that I'm aware of". Strangely, she wasn't bothered about meeting a second time.
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#1,717 ·
We have this outfit in New Zealand called Trademe which is similar to ebay but works so well that ebay doesn't really have much of a chance competing with it for local trading, auctions etc. Today I received an email from Trademe informing me of changes to the privacy policy. It seems that people like me who have 'opted out' from advertising and marketing directed at us won't have this option in the future and we will have Trademe marketing directed at us. Good on you Trademe. Show me your stuff. The email waffled on for quite some time and I 'opted out' from reading any more of it.

I decided it needed a reply and here is a copy of it.

Hello,

I've just received an email waffling about changing a privacy policy to allow advertising directed more at me when I'm logged on or some such thing. Knock yourself out. I don't care how much advertising is directed at me as I am immune to it. I was opted out because I just don't care. That hasn't changed. You can attempt to market as much as you like directed at me but it will make no difference. In fact, it will cause the opposite to happen and I'll be even more determined to ignore your marketing. I use Trademe, and enjoy doing so, to buy and sell stuff I want to buy and sell. You can't sell anything to me I don't want to buy, and that will not change, so good luck with it. Hope you enjoyed the waffle. Would've been silly to read it all and I bet you can guess that I probably didn't read all the waffle you sent me either.
regards etc
 
#1,719 ·
Wobble

If I responded to targeted advertising on this Forum alone, I would drive a Toyota (never) while intoxicated by sundry cut price alcoholic drinks, and dressed in surgical underwear...

I shudder...
Fortunately the only advertising I'm exposed to on this forum is 'SlotCarsTyres Modern and Vintage Urethane Tyres' and they don't make rubber tyres so I'm out of harms way.
 
#1,721 ·
Can't remember the web site now but I clicked through to amend the cookies and all the advertising cookies had a tick box next to them. Could I amend any of these, NO!!. At this point there was no option but to accept all the cookies and as I had already clicked into the site I had accepted to have cookies.

What is the point of having an option to amend cookies that doesn't let you amend anything. Probably just there to meet the current legal requirements.
 
#1,722 ·
Cornwall for me Gus spent many a happy holiday there especially out of season staying at our friends place just above Praa Sands and my memories are of walking along the coast top in a high wind seeing the sea below us crashing onto the rocks now at the age of 75 I doubt if I will ever see it again , and I suppose like everything else in life it will have changed, I doubt like most things now not for the better.
Don't be a plonker Peter - get down here! Slot car racing every other Wednesday evening at Praa Sands community hall, right where you describe having stayed. That's the only thing that has changed - there is now slot racing in the area. Nothing else has changed because that would cost money. The pub is still there and does excellent Sunday lunches.
 
#1,723 ·
Started today by inadvertently squirting shampoo into my left eye, and dropping a bar of soap in the bath - eventually retrieved with vociferous use of the most foul language.

I'm now commanded to place an unwanted double bed into the rear of a small Volkswagen - an impossible feat for even the most mindless optimist.

And they wonder why we get grumpy. Ab irato!
 
#1,724 ·
Good lord a Cornish Man , and slot cars in Cornwall, is there still a pub down there with a veranda overlooking the sands , spent many a happy time on that veranda with a cold beer watching the missus and our friends enjoying sand in places i had better not mention here , in those days there was no speed limit along that top road , Jan our friend had a Ford Corsair and i had a Cortina 1600 E and we used to open them up coming down the hill along that stretch of road hitting the brakes just before a garage on the left hand side , is the Coach and Horses still there as you leave Newtown heading towards Penzance spent 26 consecutive years down there on holidays, ah great memories of kinder days .
 
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