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Red not Dead

13439 Views 47 Replies 12 Participants Last post by  Willbloke
Hi Thingie Chums

The Green Manalishi, as described on the Sunchaser threads, is soon to be reincarnated as a new ride for the Thing King.
No pictures yet- I have to assemble some bitz. We will describe the build from notion to motion and we promise to keep the cool crowd informed via the usual channel.

Every age demands new Things. This years Thing will be a lot like last year's Thing, but we hope to recapture a lost age of honest toil and shared benefit.

Hail to thee blithe Thingies! And all who build, drive and slather over them.
Easy on the Vermouth, barman.
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After suffering the ignominy of defeat in Round 1 of Sunchaser 2009, beaten by the Kingie's nickel-plated brass PAN chassis, the revolutionary tone of the following build takes on a new, fiery passion. A new order! Sweep away the corrupt regime! No leaders, no more heroes. Progress through collective effort....
So I made an effort to collect a few tools.

This is the way the new era dawns. An innocent scrap of 0.6mm brass waits to be hammered, beaten, and generally abused. A symbol of the oppressed masses.

But the proletariat is not afraid of a little violence to bring about the necessary change. A scribe mark is struck across the brass strip, using the Engineer of Human Soul's sturdy steel square. The brass is fastened firmly in the vice of oppression, and it bends to the will of society. A perfect right angle symbolises our glorious change in direction!

The labour has only just begun. We need not just a change in direction, but a whole U-turn! We have to resolutely turn our backs on the past! Another bend. We use a block of our honest native timber, carefully fashioned to the width of a motor and squared to prescision under the patient eye of the worker.

We have turned another corner, comrades! But we have gone too far. We need to balance the left and right flank of our glorious advance.

The People's tinsnips are darkest black, and utterly ruthless.

Next, we remount our faithful hardwood block, and go through the drill. A pilot hole...

Then a 5mm hole for the axle tube. Keeping the block mounted we can flip it in the vice and drill the opposite side in the same way, and be sure of alignment

Next, we flip the block to show the middle face, and drill pilot holes for three more critical positions. These are the shackles by which the irresistable force of the powerful Motor of the People will be united with the trustworthy Chassis Contraption of Collective Power (Henceforth to be known as the C.C.C.P)

Some enlargement required to the centre

We decree that in the glorious future ALL holes will be drilled slightly undersize, so that perfect circularity and accuracy may be achieved with the People's Reamer.

The bearing tube is prepared! The only acceptable way to cut brass tube under the New Regime is to take a rusty old Stanley Knife and roll it around remorselessly, until the hardened brass gives way to the will of the people.

There will be much more of this rubbish. You have been warned. Especially you of the Old Regime. You will NEED to know what is happening outside your supposedly impregnable castle. But it is too late to pull up the drawbridge....
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I told you there would be more. We have to strike hard and relentlessly while the decadent powers of monarchistic oppression are lulled into self-absorption and guilt.

The axle tube of Immutable Force is fed through the accurately reamed holes of the People's Will, and four 2mm long scraps of suitably tenacious solder are laid in the joints using the mighty Tweezers of the Proloteriat, and brushed with the purifying liquor of acid flux...

And subjected to the purifying flame of compressed Gazprom's finest, piped direct from nature's own bountiful fields.

Files, the grinding emerypaper of poverty, and 00000 grade wire wool bring the People's U- bracket to gleaming perfection. Did the drones of the ruling classes ever produce such work by the humble toil of their own begrimed hands?

Piano wire! Sweet, singing steel! Extruded by the kilometre from the furnaces of human endeavour... bent again to the harder iron will of the honest fabricator, provides a bed for our bracket. Not the feather-down luxury of the pampered effete, but enough to give both rest and vigour to our renewed efforts. Again the Tweezers of the proletariat, the solder and purifying acid working in harmony are subjected to Gazprom's flame, and permanent unity of purpose is assured.

The hill grows ever steeper Comrades, but we must march on, and on....
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The revolution will not be televised, but it is being posted, dear comrades. The Completely Revolutionary Artisan's Party today issues a new samizdat;

At the rear, we have added the yoke of finest home-produced steel to ensure that the transmission of the People's Power will not waver or falter in strength and utter determination. At the front, the straight path of the frame has been altered, with the aid of a fine engineer's red square, so that the forces of opposition will be dispersed safely.

Now we must forge the front axles- the vital part to ensure a straight passage, immune to the rocky and treacherous path that lies ahead of us, springing to meet the new dawn. The curious shapes, and the sliding brass barrels are a device as yet unknown to the reactionary forces of conservatism, but their true purpose will soon be unveiled to an astonished world.

Once more, the fine engineer's Red Square is brought into play, working in harmony with the People's Pliers.

And the wheels of industry are oiled and slid smothly onto the spokes of Revolutionary Thingie Socialism!

And now, the two constructions are brought together to forge a new community of shared purpose and commitment.. The Main Frame is born!
The sliding brass barrels at each end are hard soldered to the centre rails, the rear end of the outer rails are soldered to the axle tube and motor bracket, and they become Torsion Bars. The front axle arms are free to twist in the brass barrels, but the rear end is locked. Resilience, Strength & Resistance leads to a Smooth Passage for the Revolution! Two more sliding brass barrels remain floating, their purpose still unsure, but faith in the planning committee of the Completely Revolutionary Artisan's Party ensures that they will be brought into play in the future.

The next stage of our dedicated labour commences with the construction of massive pieces of hand-rolled brass plate, mined and smelted in the forges of our mighty Motherland, and brought, by sheer willpower to the aid of the Revolution. Or bought by filthy capitalist lucre from the K&S Stand at the local unreconstructed entreprenurialist model shop. Whatever.

The brass is ruthlessly beaten, ground and sawn to the will of the Party, using the immense forces at it's disposal-
Saws, Drills, all mighty machines of industry in the service of the people!

Please note, no Bank Directors or Investment Fund Managers have been harmed in the production of this thread.
But there is STILL TIME!
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I thought it was 'From each according to his 'means', Don. And I'm a really mean guy.

I prefer the other Marxian axiom- 'Keep your mouth shut' (Harpo). But I find it very hard to adhere to.

And Jaak- I appreciate your intentions, but it is ideologically unacceptable to refer to my humble self as the 'Tsar'. No leaders, no more heroes. The Thingie revolution belongs to the people. The Tsar represents the old way. The proletariat will rise unaided in the wake of the collapse of capitalism. The Thingie Kingdom will be replaced by the Radical Revolution.

Signed jointly by the committee of the Completely Revolutionary Artisan's Party, formerly the 'Bodies for Beer Transglobal Multinational Corporation' .
So the Royalist Regime is goading us on to harder work and more glorious achievement!

The Completely Revolutionary Artisan's Party responds joyfully;

The workers are not afraid of honest toil- unlike the effete capitalist drones in the boardrooms and banks.....

By honest effort we cut, file, drill and forge the hard and unforgiving brass.

We grasp the nose piece firmly in the People's Pliers, and force a double bend, with the aid of the mighty Vice of Socialism, and the packing pieces of 1/16" plate.

We return to the bandsaw of irresistable force, and shape the brass to our own ends. The Constructivist Aesthetic approved by the C.R.A.P. Committee is used to guide the form and line.

Only when the nose piece has been given general assent by the Praesidium of the C.R.A.P. can it be joiined finally to the main frame.

And now we begin phase three of our Glorious 5 Year Plan. The attachment of the side pans. We like to think of these side pans as loosley affiliated satellite states of the Motherland. They will follow the Glorious Leadership of the mainframe with joyful committment to the Revolutionary cause, but freely independant to express their own aspirations and desires (within a limited up-and-down movement of 1mm). To this end, we firmly solder 1/16" O.D. brass tubes to the outside of each of the brass barrels containing the torsion bars.

We then cut lengths of 1/16" tube to fit between the end tubes, and thread a length of piano wire through. We have created hinges. A means of expression to fellow travellers in this mighty revolution.

To the hinges, we then attach 1/16" brass rods, bent to the rule of the red square and the People's Pliers.
In the centre of the mainframe, meanwhile, we solder another brass plate, whose purpose will become clear when the committee decrees.

The limits of the revolutionary empire are delineated by two more brass rails of excessive length. Then begin the laborious process of filling the pans with length upon length of glorious socialist brass rod. Are we afraid? NO! We march onward. We know now is the time to put away childish things and embrace our destiny as free, self-determining peoples.
Under the old regime, these constructions were known as 'Jail Doors'. How typical of the restrictive and oppressive capitalists!
The C.R.A.P. committe has renamed them 'Gates of Freedom'. With this new, liberating metaphor fresh in our minds, we bend to the work with will and elation. Lengths of 1/16" aluminium are called on to sacrifice themselves by being severed into small packing pieces, while the mighty brass rods are soldered into place. First one side is completed, then the workers wipe their grimy foreheads with greasy, flux-encrusted rags, knock back he first of the day's vodka ration, and tackle the other side, while roaring a glorious socialist hymn to the republic, especially written by Ian Dury. 'Reasons to be Cheerful' echoes loudly up and down the corridors of the C.R.A.P. offices, as the ends of the Gates of Freedom are finally trimmed to equality by the spinning disc of Dremelski, our director of General Cutting and Trimming.

More revolution tomorrow, comrades! All those with severely restricted pension expectations due to the folly and incompetance of avaricious self-serving beaurocrats and general unworkability of capitalism as an over-arching theory of existence, must march together and replace by the work of their own hands what the tawdry politicians have thrown away.

Meanwhile, the Gates of Freedom are given their necessary limitations. The children of the revolution must of course be kept close to the approved party line, and to that end, hard steel rod is soldered to the central plate of the mainframe, and small hoops of brass soldered within the rails lock the movements of the gates to a degree which is by decree, mutually acceptable to all parties. Dissenting rails will of course be taken outside and given a good talking to.

Hold the line, Brothers and Sisters! The end is in sight! Power will soon be fed through the throbbing brass and steel, and the Radical Revolution will slice through the dead wood of false promises, to VICTORY!
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Well, comrades- lace up your boots for another day's long march towards the new dawn....

The party is finally ready to add the last touches to the glorious contraption. The front wheels are ideologically suspect, and their political direction must be channelled forcefully by means of steel restraints. The last two free-floating barrels on the torsion bars are brought into play. Two carefully formed restraints are soldered to the outward arm of the axle and triangulated to the larger remaining barrel, where it is also soldered firmly. The smaller barrel is then soldered to the torsion bar to prevent the recidivistic tendencies of the front wheels to steer off the charted course through the twisting turns of the revolutionary path. There is now no way backwards for the front axles! Steer a straight and true path, my friends!

The Committee is pleased with progress on the frame, and attention is turned to the covering. While this may seem childish and bourgeois, it is necessary to cover the frame for various reasons, ideological and practical. To this end, the Aesthetic Committee has joined forces with the Peoples Artistic Advisory Representative Committee (P.A.A.R.P) to design and construct a suitable covering for the frame which will both ease its passage through the turbulent air of resistance, at the same time diverting the force of atmospheric opposition into resolute downward pressure to maintain a fast and undeflectable course on the revolutionary road, and obey the directives of acceptable artistic form set down by the Party.
This is the mould, created from Plaster of (post-revolutionary) Paris

The mould is set on the mighty vacuum table, and the decadent plastic is easily re-moulded into the strong form of...

The Green Manalishi

The complete frame is mounted with suitable rotatory and power devices.

And the moulded shell is placed over the frame to ensure that all the elements are housed safely and without interference, and as low to the ground as possible, to escape radar detection by anti-progressive elements. The shell is pinned to the frame with sharpened steel anti-capitalist pins, brightly polished, and ready to draw blood in the name of Progress!

Paint has been applied in aesthetically acceptable manner, according to the precepts of the advisory committee (motto- take our advice or face the consequences)

In honour of one of the most celebrated anti-capitalist (and confused) musicians of recent history, the prime motive force of the Revolution has been named the Green Manalishi. Hence, it is painted an ideologically acceptable green.

The direction of the revolution is indicated by a broad arrow, designed to be visible in all conditions. The revolutionary committment is indicated by the simple five-pointed star. At the sides, broad flashes also indicate the irrevocable direction of travel. There is nothing more to be done. As has been well said, 'No Logos'. The decoration is symbolic and understandable in all languages.

There will now be a full written examination on the contents of the above proclamation by the Completely Revolutionary Artisan's Party. Failure will not be tolerated.

Comrades! Seize your Thingies and advance!
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The bodies are available from the Completely Revolutionary Artisan's Party (previously the Bodies for Beer Co. Ltd) at the usual address...

PM Comrade Howmet, and quote your party membership card number.
Awww... I love that can Edo. The party decrees that it should be collectivised immediately. Under rule 41325265 subsection 1(p) para 987685724323127, that means that after ten laps it must be removed from the chassis and passed on to the next numbered party card holder.

Which is me.

And comrade Havlicek is hereby summonsed to the party committee to act as motor supplier to all members for the good of the cause.
Ssssssss.... we in the party LOVE snakeskin, Ray. Beautiful job!
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