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Ah jingle bells, jingle bell's and all that C - - -, the time of the year where we look forward to all those repeats of series and films they repeated last xmas and the decade before, where you ask that fateful question!!!!! and what would you like my love for xmas and she say's nothing dear, and you know she's telling porkies, as if you got her nothing you would not hear the end of it till next xmas, where you have no idea what to buy her , years ago it was something skimpy and sexy but now your looking for something the parachute regiment might use to jump out of aircraft.
You get asked what would you like for xmas dinner and you reply beans on toast is fine for me, then your told but it,s xmas and why don't we get Turkey, roast potatoes, parsnips, carrotts, brussel sprouts ( oh my god not them ) stuffing, chipolatas, streaky bacon, and you sit there thinking yep and alka seltzer , stomach pump and rennies..
Then there are cards for people who we don't keep in contact with but they sent us a card last year so we have to send them one this year, even thought you have no idea anymore who the hell they are , and of course present's!!! why like others on here there is nothing i want perhaps a Ferrari might be nice , or something i can't mention these days because it,s not PC and i would end up divorced.
Instead i dread dawn on xmas day going into the lounge where there it sits our xmas tree ah remember buying it , that was the year England won the world cup , still worn well bit tatty at the edges but so am i so we go well together, and under it are little parcels couple shaped like socks and i wonder why, i,ve got more socks that the B shop in town , so i sink into me chair and open the sideboard cupboard reach for my bottle of single malt only to find Santa's drunk it all and nicked me crisps as well.
You get asked what would you like for xmas dinner and you reply beans on toast is fine for me, then your told but it,s xmas and why don't we get Turkey, roast potatoes, parsnips, carrotts, brussel sprouts ( oh my god not them ) stuffing, chipolatas, streaky bacon, and you sit there thinking yep and alka seltzer , stomach pump and rennies..
Then there are cards for people who we don't keep in contact with but they sent us a card last year so we have to send them one this year, even thought you have no idea anymore who the hell they are , and of course present's!!! why like others on here there is nothing i want perhaps a Ferrari might be nice , or something i can't mention these days because it,s not PC and i would end up divorced.
Instead i dread dawn on xmas day going into the lounge where there it sits our xmas tree ah remember buying it , that was the year England won the world cup , still worn well bit tatty at the edges but so am i so we go well together, and under it are little parcels couple shaped like socks and i wonder why, i,ve got more socks that the B shop in town , so i sink into me chair and open the sideboard cupboard reach for my bottle of single malt only to find Santa's drunk it all and nicked me crisps as well.